By Christian Woodard
Remember that time the South thought it was cool? When they pitied us because our rivers only run when it’s snowing out?
I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve heard this at the end of a list of hip bars, clean waterfalls, and vague mentions of southern belles:
“…And we have the Green. You know, it runs every day of the summer.”
God, I hate that.
(Nick hates it even more)
Guess what all you Asheville snobs? Now WE have the Green. It might not run every day of the summer, but we’ll take what we can get up here above the Arctic Circle. (“And we have the SUN. You know, it shines every day of the summer”)
Our Green is very similar to yours. There are even three big rapids that you might want to scout, one of which requires a similar move to Sunshine. But it’s harder, ‘cause everything’s harder and more rewarding in the Northeast.
And there’s this hip bar called “my house” sort of nearby. They screen kayaking movies every night.
Okay. Here’s the skinny:
The Green (from now on, the Green in the south will be referred to as “The Groan”) is a mysterious river. There are no roads along it, and for the longest time, no one knew if there was ever enough water in it to kayak. Morrisville Water and Light has operated the dam on the Green River Reservoir for seventy years, and in that time only rarely and secretly let navigable flows through the river.
Now, I’m sure that the Kerns ran this back in the day. But we’re talking modern era here. The “first recent descent” was last October, during a huge rainstorm in which even the North Branch Winooski got way too high. We decided to drive to the Green because it has a tiny watershed (19 square miles) and most of that drains into the reservoir. It was a motley crew including but not limited to Mike McDonnell, Billy Wagner, Justin Cranell, Trip Kinney, a tall fellow named Chris, Alan Panebaker, and myself.
(Young ‘n’ Reckless Panebaker)
The river was woody and small, but surprisingly steep. We skipped the culvert at the put-in (my firmest disapproval to the jackwagon who thought that looked good) and I ran everything else except the pothole gorge because it was stuffed up with wood.
Fast forward one year. Ryan McCall, Dave Packie and Bill Hildreth have shifted into overdrive and organized an American Whitewater flow study on the Green.
(If it weren’t shitty out I’d have thought I was on The Groan)
On Saturday, Nick and I left Middlebury at 5:30AM to drive 2 hours to Applecheek Farm, where we found 30 kayakers already suiting up and Kevin Colburn (who flew in from Montana) telling everybody what to expect.
“The Federal Energy Regulatory Commission relicenses hydro projects every 30 years. The Green River Dam is up for relicensing, and we’re here to see if recreational releases can be a part of that license. John is going to put four different flows through the river, and we’ll paddle on each of them, then fill out some paperwork after each run to see what you thought. Don’t try to game the system, just tell us what you thought.”
It was cold. It was rainy, and I heard speculation that the rain was actually hail. Yes, it was the Northeast, even with a dam release. But, in the face of adversity and mild hangovers, we went kayaking. As my moral compass Morgan often tells me:
“You’re not here to have fun. You’re here to go kayaking.”
Members of the VPC had spent days cleaning the wood out of the river, for which we were all thankful. With a little creativity you didn’t have to portage at all.
The first drop is one of the big ones – we’ve been calling it Moonshine — and can dish some carnage. I ran first and Tripp Burwell followed, pulverizing the nose of his Magnum. In later runs, several people got smeared on a pinny rockpile and “Young and Reckless” Panebaker even swam here. There’s a bouncy sneak on the right. Just downstream of the waterfall is an undercut boulder that could be dangerous if you were out of your boat.
Boatscoutable boogie and some open moving water down to the next big rapid. The fall colors were great in this section. The next one is in a mini-gorge, and was the only rapid we didn’t run on the “modern first descent” last year. So, I was excited to see that the VPC guys had cleaned it out, and went for it. There are some real dangers to watch out for in this one, including a gigantic pothole at the lip of the first drop, an undercut wall just downstream, and some lingering wood in the runout. There are some good photo opportunities from downstream, especially once that big tree gets cleaned out.
There’s a boatscoutable rapid, then the standout drop of the run – Humble Pie. This rapid is a straightforward rolling boof. You bobble through the lead-in, then wait ‘til the last second to launch your nose out over the hole. If done correctly, this is a lot of fun.
If, however, you are too far right, attempting a right boof stroke, there won’t be any water underneath your paddle, and you’ll plug, do some cartwheels, and swim into the big tree where you’ll clock your head.
There are some nice clean ledges after this, and a twisting low-angle slide with an amazing boof at the top.
(Billy “2 hours of sleep” Wagner F!s the Sh!t). Photo Lucas Schulz.
It calms down to the logging bridge, after which there’s a cool rapid where you boof center and again on the right if you can get over there fast enough. The next rapid is a sweet kicker over a hole, though you can also sneak it right.
Finally, there’s a drop that everyone seemed to be pitoning (go center at medium flows, or if it’s high you can get far enough right to avoid the rocks), and then moving water through alders out to the junkyard, where we took out.
I’m not sure what the final agreement with the junkyard is, but if it turns out they don’t want us taking out there, you can paddle down the Lamoille for a bit and take out on the right. There’s a convenient parking area across the street under some power lines.
We did this four times, in between runs eating awesome sandwiches and hearing about the multitude benefits of emu oil.
At the end of the weekend, everyone was stoked on the river, and we’re looking forward to whatever release schedule AW can negotiate. Personally, I’d love to see stepped weekend releases – 1 tube in the morning, 2 tubes in the afternoon – and Applecheek there as a festival headquarters. If you’re ever up there running the river, go buy some emu oil or “Costa Rican art by David” or a frozen guinea hen. We should support these guys as much as possible.
Thanks again to Ryan, Dave, and Bill for heading this up. Thanks to our shuttle drivers, without whom this would have been a huge dysfunctional mess. Thanks to Kevin for being a pro, and to Alden for giving up a perfect hang-gliding day to go canoeing instead.
Also, not to start any rumors…but I’ve heard from a pretty reliable source that there is a photo of Alden “The” Bird kayaking. Not canoeing.
Photos: Morgan Boyles and Nick Gottlieb






















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